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Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Picture of the Day
Grumpy Daisy trying to get her sleep on and I just couldn't keep the camera out of her cute face!BACK!
Okay....well Hi. I have deleted all previous posts because I need a fresh start and those post were history. But I find myself in need of this space once again to rant, complain, bitch, protest, share, and just say all the things that are in my head that I can't say out loud because no one really gets them. I mean come on, how really cares what my make-believe readers think? I can make them think whatever I want them to because I created them in a desperate attempt at developing social skills.
(great transition here) I was recently hospitalized for a pretty nasty stomach virus. It was serious because I have uncontrolled diabetes, until the hospitalization I had been trying to control it with weight loss and diet--well that's no longer a possibility. I did lose 35lbs in my hopeless attempt to stay off insulin. I was so close to being in ketoacidosis it wasn't funny so Doc put me on a pill, metformin, and a shot, lantus, YAY..not.
I've been keeping myself on a strict NO CARB-NO SUGAR 1600kcal diet. I do great most days but today is a rough day and I just needed to post about it because I can't talk to my family--they don't get it..well my Mom does but shes not home at the moment and I feel so frustrated that I want to make kittens cry (not really I love animals). I was HORRIBLE this morning and ate two pieces of cold left-over pizza (so GOOD, but NOT WORTH IT) and have yet to eat anything else today. Pizza isn't a "good" food or nutrient dense so of course I feel like eating AGAIN. Took my blood glucose and it was 213 (HATE THAT MY LIFE IS RAN BY NUMBERS!!) so I'm like crap I really shouldn't eat anything else because their is nothing in the house that is low-no-carb that is good for me, I have depleted the family stock of lettuce.
Had a sugar free amp and a diet coke so that is probably adding to my latest psychotic episode. I just get so upset when my Dad and Sister don't understand me when I'm so frustrated--they could eat candy with pixie stick chasers and still be running like 80. My sister keeps saying that I need to stop having such "food issues"...like what am I suppose to have? Chocolate? no. I was sick, sick and I don't ever want to be that sick again. Dad thinks he can fix this and he can't so he gets frustrated and it comes off like this issue is a hassle for him and it makes me want to punch stuffed teddy bears. Seriously I'm the one living with this and I'm the one who now lives their life around food and shots and stupid NUMBERS!
I just wish they would just support me and let me have my freak outs. (sigh)
So in a pleading moment I came upstairs to my room to cool down.
What is it that I did to cool off?
Wearing high heel boots with my pajamas and listening to the Twilight soundtrack. Robert Pattinson take me away to a magic land of vegan vampires and carb-less cheesecake.
If you want to share your story with me or give me some advice at dealing with myself leave it in the comments...dude that so reminds me NEW SHAYTARD video!
(great transition here) I was recently hospitalized for a pretty nasty stomach virus. It was serious because I have uncontrolled diabetes, until the hospitalization I had been trying to control it with weight loss and diet--well that's no longer a possibility. I did lose 35lbs in my hopeless attempt to stay off insulin. I was so close to being in ketoacidosis it wasn't funny so Doc put me on a pill, metformin, and a shot, lantus, YAY..not.
I've been keeping myself on a strict NO CARB-NO SUGAR 1600kcal diet. I do great most days but today is a rough day and I just needed to post about it because I can't talk to my family--they don't get it..well my Mom does but shes not home at the moment and I feel so frustrated that I want to make kittens cry (not really I love animals). I was HORRIBLE this morning and ate two pieces of cold left-over pizza (so GOOD, but NOT WORTH IT) and have yet to eat anything else today. Pizza isn't a "good" food or nutrient dense so of course I feel like eating AGAIN. Took my blood glucose and it was 213 (HATE THAT MY LIFE IS RAN BY NUMBERS!!) so I'm like crap I really shouldn't eat anything else because their is nothing in the house that is low-no-carb that is good for me, I have depleted the family stock of lettuce.
Had a sugar free amp and a diet coke so that is probably adding to my latest psychotic episode. I just get so upset when my Dad and Sister don't understand me when I'm so frustrated--they could eat candy with pixie stick chasers and still be running like 80. My sister keeps saying that I need to stop having such "food issues"...like what am I suppose to have? Chocolate? no. I was sick, sick and I don't ever want to be that sick again. Dad thinks he can fix this and he can't so he gets frustrated and it comes off like this issue is a hassle for him and it makes me want to punch stuffed teddy bears. Seriously I'm the one living with this and I'm the one who now lives their life around food and shots and stupid NUMBERS!
I just wish they would just support me and let me have my freak outs. (sigh)
So in a pleading moment I came upstairs to my room to cool down.
What is it that I did to cool off?
Wearing high heel boots with my pajamas and listening to the Twilight soundtrack. Robert Pattinson take me away to a magic land of vegan vampires and carb-less cheesecake.
If you want to share your story with me or give me some advice at dealing with myself leave it in the comments...dude that so reminds me NEW SHAYTARD video!
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